With the party in full swing I rearranged the stage and carried down the keyboard, and got the nervous backing singers on standby. I got on the stage (not easy in a pencil skirt), eventually got everyone pointing the right way, thanked them for coming, almost fell off the tiny stage twice, and announced the song. The rest is a blur. The camera captured from after the intro, when the Half-Century-ettes made their entrance ...
Being fifty is quit an adventure
Each day brings a new ache or pain
Every morning a slightly bigger bald patch
A little more fog around my brain
My elderly parents are going batty
My teenage son's gone twatty
All my time is taken up with responsibility
And my sodding eyesight's failed
My childhood heroes have all been jailed
Sometimes it feels like all I have left is my dignity ...